Glee Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Britney 2.0
Sep 21 2012 10:24 pm ET
Brittany had a moment where she thought she was doing a voiceover when she was actually talking. The episode immediately began with "Hold it Against Me" and while I don't understand why Brittany had to do the gun routine, it set the standard for how the rest of the episode would be judged on. Production-wise, it was interesting enough, your run of the mill Sue-inspired routine that had nothing to do with cheer at all. Sue gave Brittany a speech about how she was a terrible role model because of how her grades slipped. She was taken off of the Cheerios. If Brittany was this dumb, I don't understand how she even became a senior. Or why she's allowed to write in crayon/colored pencils. Oh show, why do I love you?
Back over in Rachel's personal hell Prof. Cassandra explained the tango was about sexuality. Unfortunately for Rachel, there was one less guy so she couldn't learn the tango. Insert pouting Rachel here.
Brittany emerged without her Cheerios outfit with clothes from the donation box. Again, Brittany has clothes, or should have some friends who could give her something. Imagine if she had an Artie sweater and Unique's skirts? Epic weirdness. Schue and Emma had an intervention with her and explained that Brittany needed to have counseling with Emma for a few weeks. Emma pointed out that Brittany was having a slump. For the Glee lesson this week, Schue announced that it was Britney week to help Brittany. Artie & Blaine sang "Boys/Boyfriend" with some simplistic chair choreography. The vocals were quite nice as Artie now seems shadowed by newer cast members for no good reason whatsoever.
Kurt & Rachel decide to pay $1800 for a Bushwick warehouse. Wait, where's the bathroom? Where's the kitchen? Unless this epically open area had another set of rooms with basic plumbing, I can't believe that these two could live there. Don't even get me started on credit checks. Kurt decided to apply for Vogue.com, because he's just perfect for an anonymously led bitch fest. Rachel was convinced that she wasn't sexy enough, which is odd considering the last Britney week, she was flaunting her "Hit Me Baby" Schoolgirl outfit. Kurt realized that Cassandra July was crazy and he explained a YouTube clip that was from her opening night. The stage strangely looked like our favorite auditorium. That and I know that YouTube started in 2005, but the clip was from 2002 (if the "Ten years ago" storyline was true). Someone was particularly vengeful of Cassandra that they posted it (a minimum of three years) after Cassandra became a joke of a performer.
Marley talked to Unique in our really shoehorned storyline of the week because she's being awfully flirty with Jake. I get it past the eye glances and all, but really? This is turning a little too Degrassi for my tastes. Where's Drake when you need him? Unique called Jake a "Womanizer" for one of the weakest transitions into a song as possible. It was a bit of a stereotype for Jake who we only met for a few minutes. The thing that upsets me more was that Tina was part of the song, I mean she's single now, but she shouldn't be aiming for the bad-boy or someone that may possibly be a sophomore. What will that do to her (non-existent) street-cred? Why does Unique get to be part of the girl's gym class? I expected the girls at the end to wrap their tug-of-war rope around Jake's neck.
Rachel found Brody in the park as she asked a favor for her. She needed him to dance with her in Cassandra's class. Brody decided that it was a crazy, but great idea. You know, hijacking a five minute class for a special performance by the least liked person in the class. Serves her right to belittle a girl with a lot of potential but rice paper thin skin for criticisms.
Joe/Tina/Sam created a nice version of "3" which confused me only because Joe didn't seem like the biggest proponent for threesomes. While everyone seemed enthusiastic, Brittany tried to razor her hair. Yay for downward spiral Britney/Brittany. She then proceeded to go Crazy-Brittany on Jacob with an umbrella. Yeah, he probably deserved that for years of muckraking. Jake zoomed past with a scooter, and in that perfect moment Schue tried his best to convert him to the church of Glee. Because friends are forever. He wasn't having any of it.
Jake talked to Marley and she pointed out how he was picked on. Jake called Schue "Scheister" as he continued to bash the freak club. More shoehorning of Britney in a non-Brittany-storyline happened as Marley performed "(You Drive Me) Crazy" with Jake merging in "Crazy" by Aerosmith. The sadistic part of me hoped that someone would trip and fall down the bleachers. Or at least that thing in The Princess Diaries when Mia/Mandy Moore slipped and fell on her bum. Then it ended with the "here have my jacket" cheesy teen drama. Who even does that?
Brittany was talking to "Kiki" (her cheap version of Siri) as the Glee club had an intervention. She was convinced that she needed to Lip-sync her performance to be brilliant. Obvious puzzle pieces continued to fall in place even though the smarter Glee kids didn't see it at all. Maybe if Sugar was around she could have added a little bit to this group of dimwits. She did know the difference between Wal-Mart and J.Crew.
Rachel arrived with Brody to prove that she could be sexy. One steam run for mood as she performed "Hit Me Baby One More Time" along with flashlights. It was overtly sexy, which was exactly what Rachel was looking for. I still don't understand how Rachel or Brody convinced all the other Dance 101 students to be part of the non-Cassandra shenanigans. It's also kind of funny hearing a song that has simplistic vocals performed by a better vocalist. Cassandra generally flipped and Rachel then called her a YouTube joke. She was obviously dismissed.
People made fun of Marley's mother as Marley tried to stand up against them. Jake then intervened and started throwing punches. Schue pulled him aside and provided him with our random cameo of the week: Puck. The two had a little personal family moment. He apparently admitted that he grew up (to be a man) as being a part of Glee. Puck pointed out that he was headed back to LA to bang random The Bachelor contestants. How is that evolving into a man if that's what he still does? He ended with, "you're my brother" as if the half-blood connection was cement.
Our first principal Figgins moment! It was the Fall Assembly and he announced that he wasn't a milk-able cow. Kinky. Brittany wasn't ready to perform as everyone else was ready. She the reenacted how Brittany was awful when she performed "Gimme More" during the VMAs eventually the audience turned as the curtains pulled on them. Schue went crazy with the lip-syncing. Brittany decided to resign from Glee.
Cassandra and Rachel had their moment. She admitted that Rachel lashed out and with one mistake she became a YouTube outcast. Three years before YouTube was founded by people from PayPal. Wait, is it 2015 in Glee-world now? She wasn't ready for the pressure. Cassandra admitted to pick on her students in hopes that it would make them tougher. Rachel was let back in, but on probation.
Brittany got a message from Sam to meet in the auditorium via map. Sam pointed out that she hit rock bottom and she needs to come back stronger, just like Brittany. For some reason Sam understood her. I don't like the fact that sometimes Sam is dumb, other times Sam is dyslexic, and he could still teach Puck places in Europe. Brittany admitted to missing Santana. At this point, I'm missing Santana. Sam pointed out that he was going to help her through the situation. Brittany talked to Sue and realized that she was still president and forced Sue to let her back on the Cheerios. Sue allowed her back, seeing that she made a slight effort with her limited capacity. Sue also forced Brittany to get tutoring and graduate in time. Schue and Emma were glad to help.
Rachel and Kurt were doing some painting. Painting on brick walls. I'll pass on that part. Rachel missed Finn, but Kurt tried to explain that space was nice. As long as Finn's not already dead, I think she shouldn't worry. Brody knocked on the door as he gave Rachel some orchids for good luck. The two had their little flirty moment, but Brody respected her decision to stay loyal to Finn, even though he just wanted some makeout session. Even Santana would say yes to that man.
Jake talked to Marley as he decided to join the Glee club. He admitted that Glee may help his personal issues. Marley suggested the two stick together. Random Cheerio/head-bitch/diet-Quinn then stole the jacket, announcing that she and Jake were "together." It crushed our outcast Marley. Jake walked into the Glee club to awkward stares. Especially trouty mouth over there. Did they use the fish lens on Sam or is his mouth just gloriously large? Marley decided to sing one more Britney song as she sang "Everytime." We get the slow motion montages of Marley struggling with Jake, Rachel with the Finn/Brody, and Brittany missing Santana.
Next Week: Sam rips off his shirt. That's all I need to know to keep me watching for another week.
Michael Pascua - TVLatest.com
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