Big Brother 14 Episode 1 Recap: Meet the Houseguests and Coaches
Jul 12 2012 11:56 pm ET
On Thursday's season premiere of Big Brother 14, we meet the 12 contestants and 4 coaches who will compete for big money this summer. One Houseguest earns Head of Household while another is evicted before the game gets fully underway.
Has it really been 10 months since I last said "ugh, I swear this is the last summer I waste on this stupid show?" Time sure does fly, huh? Even with the sweet passage of time, some things remain constant: for example, the ugly red pants/criss-cross halter combo Julie Chen is sporting as she introduces us to another season of 12 nincompoops winning money while revealing how horrible people can be when they are extremely bored. Welcome to Big Brother 14!
This year, 12 new houseguests will enter the game. However, four of the show's top players ever will join the cast as coaches playing their own game. BUT FIRST! Let's meet the 12 newbies:
Frank: Carrot Top meets Richard Simmons; spends a lot of time at the beach.
Danielle: A southern girl who works as a nurse.
Shane: A house flipper from Vermont who looks like my TV boyfriends from HGTV.
Jodi: A newlywed who now has five step-children. Also a fitness nut.
Ian: A Chemical Engineering student at Tulane. He says his high IQ will give him an advantage, which has worked for exactly 0 of the people who also claim that trait.
Wil: A Southern Dandy from Louisville. He has Final Fantasy hero hair.
JoJo: She's a New Yorker who could easily be confused for a cast member of The Real Housewives of New Jersey/
Willie: His brother is Russell Hantz. If the text on the screen didn't clue you in, the fact that he is a spitting image of the former Survivor contestant is a big hint.
Kara: A model who seems to think this is Bachelor Pad
Joe: A professional chef
Jenn: She was in the all-female metal band Kittie and is this season's token Puerto Rican Tattooed Lesbian (PRTL).
Ashley: She is a mobile spray tan technician who is kinda hippie-dippy. She was also my pre-show pick to win this whole thing, so she better not disappoint.
The Houseguests assemble outside the house's front door. Julie goes over the preliminaries before sending the contestants into the game in groups of four. Once everyone claims a bed, they all gather in the living room for introductions. Ian immediately suspects Willie may be related to Russell since he looks and sounds exactly like his brother. Danielle fibs about her profession, but that's about as scandalous as things get. Oh, Shane is wearing a puka shell necklace, so he loses TV Boyfriend status.
Julie sends us to commercial and tells us we will soon learn the identities of the four coaches. The coaches are:
Dan (Season 10 Winner): Full disclosure – I went to Sunday school and middle school with Dan. Frankly, I was surprised he would be into reality TV, let alone being one of the best players in Big Brother history. He is the only person to win by a unanimous vote, so his presence here is not a surprise.
Janelle (Season 6 and All-Stars): Yes, she's divisive, but I consider myself #TeamJanelle. Since her last stint, Janelle got married and had a baby. She still looks fabulous.
Britney (Season 12): I loved Britney and I'm still bummed the Brigade pulled one over on her. Thankfully she is the one repping Season 12 – I don't think I could stand a full season of anyone else from that year.
Mike "Boogie" (Season 2 and All-Stars Winner): I Dr Will wasn't available, since most of Mike's game involved Will. Still, if you win All-Stars, I guess you should be invited back for a mentor role.
Julie cuts in to the living room conversation to deliver news of the twist to the cast. The coaches will not be a part of the main game. Each coach will select three houseguests to be their team for the entire season. The coach of the HG who wins the game will win $100,000. After the news sinks in, the doorbell rings and the coaches enter one-by-one. Everyone geeks out and there is another round of introductions. Willie tries to play dumb about the whole Russell thing but nobody is fooled.
After the mingling and geeking out subsides, Julie summons the cast to the living room. Twist #2: one houseguest will be eliminated at the conclusion of the Head of Household competition about to take place. The cast heads to the backyard. First, the coaches will pick their teams:
Team Britney: Shane, Willie, JoJo
Team Mike: Frank, Ian, Jenn
Team Janelle: Wil, Ashley, Joe
Team Dan: Kara, Danielle, Jodi
The competition is a Wipeout-like obstacle course. Each player on the team has to jump from the start platform to a bed that tilts. Then they have to jump to a bed that is rotating. After jumping to a second bed that tilts, the player has to retrieve a giant Teddy Bear and make her/his way back to the start. Once the team has collected three bears, one player has to return to the bear pit and hit a buzzer to complete the challenge. The coach of the team that finishes first will select the first HoH from the winning trio. However, the coach of the team that finishes the challenge last will have to evict.
The first and second beds do not cause too many problems for any of the teams. However, the third platform requires a long-distance jump so that the bed doesn't tilt down and cause the player to slide off. Returning is a challenge as well, because the player has to hang on to a giant bear while counteracting the tilt to jump on to the spinning bed. There is much "oof"-ing. Team Britney is the first to score a point and ultimately wins the challenge. Britney chooses Willie as HoH because she thinks he will need the week to establish himself and shake the Russell target from his back. After 20 minutes, the coaches are given the option to swap out struggling players, giving Team Janelle and Team Mike the opportunity to wrap up the challenge. That means Coach Dan will have to cut either Kara, Danielle, or Jodi.
Dan gets the chance to chat with his team members before making a decision. He says Kara gave her all in the challenge, so she is safe. Jodi says she is here to fight and thinks Danielle was defeated by the challenge too quickly. Danielle says Jodi is nice but may cause drama down the road. Julie summons the cast to the living room for Dan's decision. Dan takes a moment before deciding to send Jodi home. It should be noted that Jodi is one of only two people of color in the house (Jenn is Latina under all the tattoos). Maybe Big Brother could try not going for tokenism in its casting one of these years.
That's all for Thursday's show. On Sunday, a new power will be introduced to the house. Wednesday will feature the Power of Veto shenanigans. Then next Thursday we will have our first live eviction. It begins, y'all.
Mike McComb – TVLatest.com
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