RuPaul's Drag Race Season 4 Recap: The RuPocalypse
13 new Queens are here to show off their Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent in the season premiere of RuPaul's Drag Race. After a totally toxic photoshoot, the contestants battle zombies in search of post-apocalyptic couture.
Has it been another year already? I feel like we just left the WerkRoom after naming Raja the Next Drag Superstar. Upward and onward, squirrelfriends. A variation on "Dahoo Dores" plays as we meet this year's crop of queens:
Willam: An actor who has had several bit parts in TV and film. Her look reminds me of Jessica Simpson in Dukes of Hazzard.
Lashauwn Beyond: As she enters, Lashauwn's hair barely clears the doorway. Oops.
Jiggly Caliente: Jiggly describes herself as New York City's Plus-Sized Barbie. Hopefully she isn't from the Mimi Imfurst school of drag or we could be in trouble.
Phi Phi O'Hara: We don't get much of an intro from Phi Phi, but she and her hipster glasses will pop up again later.
Madame LaQueer: Madame is another plus-sized queen who is originally from Puerto Rico. Are drag queens one of the island's major exports?
Milan: Milan enters wearing a pantsuit from Mary Richards' wardrobe, circa 1976. She describes herself as a fierce, fabulous diva who can act, sing, dance and produce. I'm not sure what "produce" means in this context.
Alisa Summers: She describes herself as a fishy queen then brags about being able to walk down the street with no one knowing she's a dude.
Dida Ritz: Dida describes herself as a hybrid of Beyoncé, Carrie Bradshaw and Kimora Lee Simmons. That's one high-maintenance concoction. Lashauwn doesn't see it, saying in an interview that Dida looks a mess. Hehe.
The Princess: The Princess says she is a reserved extrovert whose personality comes out when she is in drag. That should make WerkRoom interactions interesting.
Kenya Michaels: Kenya is also from Puerto Rico and is a little person. Her look is so spot on and gorgeous, I would have no idea that she was a drag queen. "Now I'm gonna have to be the funny one," Willam whines.
Chad Michaels: No relation to Kenya, Chad is a celebrity impersonator who favors Cher. Hopefully he lasts long enough to play the Snatch Game so we can see what Chad offers. Show us your Burlesque!
Sharon Needles: Sharon enters wearing a witch's hat, black lipstick and a black slip. She describes her character as "beautiful, spooky and stupid." Sharon is going to be one to watch.
Latrice Royale: Latrice is another plus-sized queen who describes herself with the following: "large and in charge, chunky yet funky, bold and beautiful baby." She has a velvety voice and you know she's fun to hang out with while telling you like it is. "The shade of it all," she says while fanning herself. I like her.
She Mail! "We are living in desperate times," RuPaul tells the cast. "This is a test to find out which one of my girls has the Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent to snatch the title of America's Next Drag Superstar." I love how filthy that sentence is yet it still makes it on to TV. "This is the beginning of the rest of your lifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelife." Not a typo – RuPaul provided her own reverb.
Ru enters to the applause of the cast. The applause gets louder as Ru runs down the Grand Prize for the winner: a lifetime supply of cosmetics, a trip somewhere TBD, headlining the Drag Race tour, and a cash prize of $100,000. Woo, the show has a budget, y'all! "You may need to spend the money quickly," RuPaul warns. The Mayans think the world will end this year, so the cast will need to survive the RuPocalypse.
Ru pauses for a moment and counts the people present. "Someone's missing," he says. The cast does not like where this is going until Ru summons the Pit Crew. The guys enter, but they are wheeling in a rather large crate. The cast looks at the crate with trepidation. The box opens. "Halleloo! I'm back bitches!" Not Shangela again. No one is happy to see her, not even Ru. "Oh HELL to the no," he says, "it's time for some new queens." "What about you, Ru?" Shangela asks. Ru starts taking off his rings AS HE SHOULD. Shangela is stuffed back in the box and wheeled out of the building. "My show, my rules," Ru says.
On to the mini-challenge. As is always the case in the season premiere, the task is a photoshoot with Mike Ruiz. The "totally toxic" queens will stand on a rotating platform while the Pit Crew sprays each one with paint. The larger queens have some balance issues, though Jiggly and Latrice roll with the mishaps. Willam also almost has a wipeout but recovers in the most spectacular fashion. When she returns to the WerkRoom she shouts "Go home!" to the undressing queens. Phi Phi interviews that she doesn't like Willam. I don't either. Dida Ritz takes a different approach with her competition, trying to be all hugs and kisses (until someone steals a wig or shoe or something).
The Pit Crew enters with trays of drinks for the contestants. Ru and Mike enter to announce the winner of the challenge. Surprisingly, the winner is Jiggly. To be fair, none of the pictures seemed all that impressive, as the smocks the contestants wore made them all look so dumpy. The prize was a tweet of the photo during the premiere, so it's not like it was a high-stakes challenge. Ru warns the girls, "tomorrow is going to be a living nightmare." Cool!
After the break, the filming has become sepia-tinged and slo-mo as the queens walk toward an abandoned alleyway. Ru explains this week's challenge will require the queens to scavenge the ruins for post-apocalypitc couture. There's nothing around the set except a few twigs here and there. Ru continues, listing the three items that will survive the RuPocalypse: cockroaches, Cher (Chad Michaels: "Amen!") and ZOMBIES! Such as the ones exiting the surrounding buildings. !!! It's Ongina! Raven! Pandora Boxx! The living contestants have three minutes to grab materials from the wandering zombies. The makeup is impressive, particularly some of the gouged eyes. Sharon Needles seems to be having the most fun, joking that this is like a family reunion. As time winds down, the zombies surround Shangela and we hear several panicked Halleloos as she is consumed. Hehe, I wonder if there is going to be a Kenny-from-South-Park runner with Shangela this season.
Back in the WerkRoom there are additional boxes of bomb shelter supplies and cargo nets up for grabs. The queens have a countdown before de-wigging and getting to work. Kenya shows off some of her mad booty-popping skillz. She is a ball of energy. Later, Ru returns for the first WalkthRu of the season. He starts with The Princess who has constructed a Black Swan-inspired dress. There's nothing post-apocalyptic about it, and The Princess has to clarify that this should be a look for after the comet hits, not before. Sharon has a brown tube dress with a barbed wire shrug that she says was inspired by Linda Hamilton from Beauty and the Beast. Nice reference point!
Lashauwn Beyond has a basic silhouette and various props here and there, but it's obvious there's no real plan and times-a-tickin'. Jiggly is in slightly worse shape, with lots of crap taped to a form. Ru checks in with Alisa Summers, who reveals she's a breastplate queen. Guh, those breastplates were forged by Lucifer himself. Ru finishes with Latrice Royale, who shares the story of her time in prison. She was in the clink for 18 months for unspecified reasons and during that time her mother passed away. "It was my two worst fears," Latrice says, but she had a plan upon release and her community had her back. At this point I am Team Latrice all the way.
Before leaving, RuPaul announces the guest judge for tomorrow's Mainstage show: Elvira. Sharon freaks out with joy. "The human race depends on you," Ru says, "if you fail, it isn't the end of the world. Oh wait a minute, yes it is. So don't f--- it up." This ratchets up the tension for the next day. Lashauwn calmly panics, but Latrice talks her through the difficulties. Milan and Jiggly share mom stories and we learn Jiggly's mom passed away suddenly a few years ago. The Princess has completely redone her outfit, which Phi Phi calls "Pirate Couture." Hmm. Almost everyone throws shade towards Sharon, but based on what we've seen so far this challenge is hers to lose. On the flipside, Phi Phi warns Jiggly that she will need a good story for the aluminum foil monstrosity that she is going to try to sell. Although she's right, Phi Phi has an awful lot of opinions about other people when we haven't seen what she's been doing at all.
Mainstage time. RuPaul is a lady in red while the rest of the panel is dressed in black. Joining mainstays Michelle Visage and Santino Rice are Mike Ruiz and Elvira. Let's start the show:
Willam is in an asymmetrical bikini. If you're wondering how that works, it doesn't. It looks like Willam forgot one of her breasts. She pulls out an umbrella frame and pretends to use it as a parasol. Phi Phi comes out in a costume that is part superhero, part centurion. Now I know why we didn't see her look. The focal point of Lashauwn's look is a giant headpiece topped by a broken globe. The dress is nicely constructed, but doesn't necessarily read "post-apocaloptical."
Chad Michaels looks like a Mad Max version of Cher, which is fine but nothing spectacular. The Princess looks like a shipwrecked version of Gallagher. I suppose that's better than whatever she was going with in her original concept. Kenya has a red outfit with wings that makes her look like a phoenix. She tosses the wings aside when she reaches the end of the runway, accentuating the cleanness of her look. Hmm.
Latrice Royale also has a large headpiece, which the judges clock as being from Whoville. Two Grinch references in one episode? I wonder what that's about. Alisa Summers comes out with her breastplate and some fabric attached to it. There is nothing post-apocalyptic about this look. Milan comes out and one of the judges calls her "an infected Betsey Johnson." Good description! I like this look a lot.
Jiggly Caliente enters the runway with everything not nailed down from the WerkRoom. "Apparently hoarding is the new black," RuPaul says and I have to stop to collect myself because that is too awesome of a line. Dida Ritz walks next and she looks like Bikini Camo Barbie. It's a good look, just not for this challenge. Madame LaQueer has the same problem, where her strapless Tarzan dress looks well-crafted but not appropriate for the apocalypse. Sharon Needles closes the show and looks like a diseased mummy come to life. When she reaches the end of the runway, she starts bleeding from the mouth. Blood aside, she is giving off a strong Nina Flowers vibe.
"Judgment day has arrived," Ru announces to the assembled queens. She dismisses Willam, Milan, Dida Ritz, Latrice Royale, Madame LaQueer, Phi Phi O'Hara and Chad Michaels. "While you're backstage, think of how to make a more memorable impression next week," RuPaul warns her girls.
The reading begins with Lashauwn Beyond, who says she is both worried and nervous. Elvira compliments the headpiece and Santino likes the symbolism of the broken world. RuPaul and Michelle tell Lashauwn to get over being starstruck – "you're here: play to win." Sharon gets universal praise from the panel, but you can tell the high marks from Elvira are all that Sharon cares about. The judges are less kind to Jiggly and her messy look, though they love her energy.
Kenya had the best runway walk of the cast, but her look gets mixed reviews. Elvira thought the bottom looked like a diaper while Michelle didn't get a post-apocalypse vibe. Alisa Summers says she was going for a post-apocalyptic S&M look. Uh huh. Elvira describes her own makeup as natural looking compared to all the paint on Alisa's face. Santino blah blah blahs about couture, but Michelle thinks the idea of couture is BS, especially with this challenge. YES! Couture is a specific process in fashion but it has become shorthand for anything fashion forward. Tim Gunn went over this over 5 years ago folks, come on. Finally, The Princess's Waterworld concept was an interesting alternative to the fire-and-brimstone styling everyone else went with, but Michelle thought the look was too clean.
The girls leave the stage and the judges deliberate. Lashauwn was fierce and met the challenge, but she needs to get over her shyness immediately. Everyone loved Sharon's look, but Michelle wants to see her in girly drag soon. The panel loves Jiggly's personality but her costume was a failure. Kenya's wings created an interesting look, but it was not post-apocalyptic. Neither was Alisa's, causing Michelle to speculate that the contestant may be resting on her beauty rather than her skills. The jury split on the quality of The Princess's look, but Mike loves her Pete Burns styling and is curious what she may offer in the future.
The cast returns to the stage. Lashauwn's look was beautiful, but her personality is holding her back. She is safe. Jiggly won the mini-challenge, but her look was a disaster. Jiggly is up for elimination. Sharon "killed this bloody challenge." She wins immunity and a custom gown. Nice. The Princess was "lost at sea" in this challenge, but RuPaul wants to see what else she can do, so she is safe. Kenya pummeled the runway but her look didn't work. Alisa's look left little to the imagination. Alisa is up for elimination.
The time has come for Jiggly Caliente and Alisa Summers to Lip Sync...for Ya Life! This week's song is "Toxic" by Britney Spears. Alisa does a lot of posing and strutting in her performance. Jiggly is giving it her all – she may be big but girlfriend's got moves. Her outfit actually works well with this particular song and performance. Willam says she would pay out some tip money for Jiggly's work. Dida comments that Alisa isn't turning it. Milan sums up Alisa's performance: "This is called drag race not drag walk."
The song ends and the at-risk contestants take their spots. "Alisa Summers," RuPaul says. WHAT?! "You are beautiful, talented and a queen for all seasons...just not this one." Whoa, fakeout! "Now sashay away." Backstage, Alisa says she didn't think she would be the first person to go. Jiggly receives her "shantay, you stay," and is asked to join the "Toxic 12." Let the music play!
Next week on RuPaul's Drag Race:
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