Expedition Impossible Recap: Never Give Up
When we last left our teams, Ike had to go to an X-Ray after the finish of the leg. Everyone was convinced that he had a fracture. Luckily, it wasn’t fractured, it was only badly swollen and some tendons were damaged. The doctors told him that he could try racing with a fiberglass cast. One that would gather up all the dirt and gross water of the day. That cast must have reeked. We cut to the morning and Ike was in the tents with his cast, and decided to never give up. That became their theme for the episode.
Dave explained to the teams that the competition was a two day stage. It was one of those episodes where if you decided to only watch the last 30 minutes, you wouldn’t have missed anything. The first day started with a rappel. The Gypsies still had their several minute advantages, but Pink was the most excited to be in third. It was pretty much downhill for them.
Footballers, Cops, and Gays left in the last group. Kari was convinced that her form of motivation (screaming a lot) was doing Fab 3 justice. I thought it was just diarrhea of the mouth that the guys ignored anyway. The inexperienced Pink and injured Blind lost their positions as the Footballers powered past. Then we got the montage of Pink having trouble with everything. Pink Brunette slipped and slammed into the rocks, Pink Blonde wobbled through the descent, and Pink Asian didn't know how to use the ropes and got tangled. John of the Gypsies rolled his ankle again but because it was a two day competition and since the Gypsies are near invincible we only hear about it lightly one other time.
Jeff, the only Blind member at 100 percent had to drag his two partners with him, but because the rappel had nothing to do with walking, they were at least in fifth. The Gypsies got to the next set of instructions which told them to inflate two kayaks and paddle to prison island. The gypsies started to inflate, with the Footballers right behind. They were upset that they had the dreaded kayaks and since they were built like tanks were too big for two kayaks. Immediately, the footballers flipped over. In the water, the Gays, Blind, Cops, originally got ahead of the Footballers. Pink wasn't moving at all, but the fact that they weren't stuck on the rappel was good enough for me.
The checkpoint at Saddle Island instructed teams to transform the two kayaks into a catamaran. Footballer Akbar had no clue what a catamaran was. I was hoping out of nowhere he'd try to eat his kayak, or turn it into a small shelter. Blind's Jeff pointed out that instructions were in nautical terms, so they decided to go the Ikea route and follow the pictures. The Gypsies left without issue, because they are invincible. All the teams left leaving Pink to explain their life story as they slowly figured out that the pole went in the post.
In the water the Gays turned into a cursing storm, every other word was a beep, and their catamaran spinning in circles. Their dysfunction was probably a big reason why the two guys don't date anymore. Even with Football players barely moving, they passed the Gays. After the commercial, Kari tried to calm the two down to no avail with her word diarrhea. Near the end of the paddle the Gypsies had no wind, allowing the Blind (who caught a gust of wind) and the Cops (who were basically drafting the Blind) to surge ahead. They ended in a pretty dramatic foot race, if we knew that this was an elimination leg. Blind got first and were given a three minute head start which they desperately needed. The Cops arrived in second and the Gypsies came in third. The Footballers, Gays, and Pink rounded out the teams.
In the morning of day two the Gays and Footballers decided to create an interesting alliance. Their goal was to try to knock out an injured team (Pink, Blind, and Gypsies). This alliance seems one-sided; the Footballers look more convinced that they could outrun the Gays in a footrace if they needed to. Dave instructed the teams to travel north, swim, and then hike to farm ruins.
Pink left in the last group exclaiming that their motto was "Teamwork." Let's see how long that lasted. The Blind's good day peaked at the 100 yard swimming section, which Blind Erik loved. The rest of the teams caught up with Pink making the most time swimming and the Gypsies unpacking perfectly. The Footballers were last out of the water. One of the gays pointed out that Kari had a case of bad diarrhea, beyond her normal word diarrhea. Even though they were first the Blind were forced to walk because of Ike. This allowed the Gays, Pink, Cops, and Footballers to overtake them. Luckily, Erik didn't see anything.
A slightly scraped Pink charged a lot harder than they have in previous legs. Footballers decided to do light sprints to pass the teams. They immediately caught up with the Gays, and then met up with the Gypsies. John was a bit upset that they left him behind because they were supposed to look "invincible." Team Blind were aware of being last and took up the scenery. Kari had to take another poop break, but it didn't affect their placing too badly.
The Gypsies arrived at the final puzzle of the leg. They had to answer questions with two poles and a chain to uncover the site for their pit stop. They had to use compass bearings to answer three questions:
Points on the star of Moroccan flag (it seemed like there was a 5 and 6 marker on the ground that they could choose from)
Average adult camel has two more teeth than a human.
Convert 500 kilometers into miles.
Pink, Gays, and Cops all arrived and tried to do the puzzle as well. What confused me the most after this episode was that Pink could clearly see other teams, but we'll get to that in a second.
Ike was at 11-point pain, but never surrendered. They continued walking crossing their fingers and hoping for the best. The Footballers and Gypsies were at the last clue. They both got their coordinates correctly and were given instructions to follow the 16 degree mark of their compass. Right before leaving Footballers told the Gays that the last answer was 310. The Gypsies and Footballers ran but it wasn't even close: the Gypsies were in first. Something about the editing made me think that it took the Footballers longer to dig out their clue. The Gays and Cops left and arrived in third and fourth respectively. Pink was in circles because they didn't know if they were supposed to add all the numbers or follow the instructions. There were two obvious things: 1) Follow the instructions, 2) there was clearly a big patch of soil that was recently turned up. The producers would not have buried a puzzle where a patch of grass looked like it was hanging out for decades.
Team Blind had new hope as they saw wandering pink shirts, they started to sprint and Ike hopped like a bunny. In a moment of clarity Pink decided to watch the Blind. Why they didn't decide to watch the Gays or Cops were beyond me. Since they knew the answers, the girls tried their best to catch up when they realized they had to go coordinate by coordinate. Blind immediately got their clue and tried to run. Pink started to run hard. Ike was holding the team back but they still arrived in fifth. Pink was last and were eliminated. They were frustrated, but happy to be together.
As a treat for the audience, we then watched Pink struggle putting seatbelts on.
Next Week: A lot more of the same, except that the caves are smaller and the water is muddier.
Michael Pascua - TVLatest.com
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